The sun shone brightly and I emptied myself of myself—of the version I deemed to be myself. Clothes were flung out from my balcony—an act of poetic justice. The very clothes that shaped me, my body now lay littered on the floor of my bungalow. Perhaps burning would have been more poetic. I glanced at my room. Everything was perfectly arranged and I wanted to destroy it. This dissatisfaction resided in some place in my soul I couldn’t reach, not that I’d ever attempted to, not properly at least.
Vinyls lay stacked up against the cupboard, and the faces of heavy metal stars looked down at me, as I lay there, in my ACDC T-shirt. My room was music. I tucked away my headphones and I tucked away my music. This was not who I wanted to be anymore. Calls were made and my chauffeur drove me to a mall. My bag was now filled with dainty heels and flowery dresses. I didn’t want to be music anymore but instead I wanted to be summer. I am summer. Warm sun rays and the smell of flowers. I am soft blades of grass. If you’re thinking about how vain I am, don’t blame me. It had been ingrained in me from childhood that clothes are identity, that I am what I wear. I didn’t disagree.
I was back in my room but it was different. I loved the changes but then I got bored of admiring it all. I took down the vinyls and the metal band posters, and put up inspiring quotes instead. I lazed around for a while until I eventually decided to sleep. This is heaven, I decided. Changing myself whenever I wanted to made me feel wonderful. I’’d been 12 different people this year and it was splendid.
The sun shone directly into my eyes. I squinted and covered my eyelids. A vast expanse of land enclosed me. No sign of civilization around. Not a single mall, not a single McDonald’s, nothing. I groaned. Was this a dream? A nightmare? I walked around for a bit until I saw a man. His hair was grey at the edges and he was dressed in all white. I scoffed. Where was this man from and where did he get his fashion sense? Suddenly he started walking towards me.
‘Hello,’ he said, scrutinizing me. ‘Where did you get your clothes from?’
Weird way to start a conversation. ‘Oh thank god you are self-aware!’ I couldn’t help myself.
He looked at me quizzically. ‘What? I mean how are you wearing clothes with colour.’
I gaped at him. ‘What?’
‘Follow me.’ I was probably in a dream, anyway, so I followed him.
We went to a main road and I saw civilization, but not the kind I’ve been used to. Everyone wore the same clothes. Same colour. Same style. I could feel my brain explode. My jaw hit the floor. This was definitely a nightmare.
‘You can’t wear that here,’ the man stated. ‘And what if I do?’ I retorted.
‘You won’t be accepted,’ he answered, simply.
At this point, I was so lost, I was willing to accept help from the man with the terrible clothes. So I quickly swapped out my clothes for what he was offering me.
Turns out, it wasn’t all a dream after all. I was reported missing for a few months. I have no idea how I got there but here I was, in a strange place, wearing strange clothes. A world so generous and kind in ways I couldn’t have fathomed. I was taken in by the strange man and we got over our first meeting, eventually laughed about it. He provided me with an ongoing supply of white clothes and I befriended the neighbourhood. We got together in the afternoons and sipped tea and played board games. I never thought simplicity meant anything but it means everything. This world—Ederent was the name—was simple and green. People planted trees regularly and wore white clothes made of an earth-friendly material called Verene. I despised it at first, of course, but I soon learned there was more to myself than clothes, that I didn’t have to change my closet every month. Their ways were strange but their planet was clean and I’d never before known the joy I would feel breathing in fresh air every single morning.
From the people of Ederent, I learned that we didn’t have to trash the planet to enjoy it. That happiness came from coexistence and from collaboration and mindfulness. That everything comes from the Earth and goes back into it. And that each of us just has to play our part.
I was eventually found, of course, which is how I’m here to tell you my tale. Today, I wore an outfit I’ve barely worn a few times, and championed slow fashion in a debate at school. I am more myself and my clothes are once again colourful and pretty, but the mall is no longer my respite. My clothes are ethically-sourced and not discarded every few weeks. Do you ever just feel proud of yourself for something minuscule that no one really understands? That’s how I feel nowadays and, honestly, it’s an amazing feeling. Being content is underrated.
